masochist_macia

Title: Everything You Want
Chapter Three: Rain, Rain, Go Away
Author: sadist_love
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Coming soon... oo; Honestly. Except. Now I'm lying. xD;
Character Models: Character models, seriously. I obviously don't own them, neither are those pictures of myself.
Word Count: 9,359 of 24, 936

( Ring around the rosey, pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall down... )

Title: Everything You Want
Chapter Two: Nancy Boy
Author: sadist_love
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Coming soon... oo; Honestly.
Character Models: Character models, seriously. I obviously don't own them, neither are those pictures of myself.
Word Count: 9,508 of 15, 577

( What you don't want... )

Title: Everything You Want
Chapter: One
Author: sadist_love
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Coming soon... oo; When it's not four am.
Character Models: Character models, seriously. We're all insane enough we picked out models that looked like our characters, some of those aren't even models, just real everyday people. I obviously don't own them, neither are those pictures of myself.
Word Count: 6,069

( What you want... )

Title: The End of the Beginning
Chapter: One
Author: sadist_love
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts II
Pairing: Axel/Roxas

( Dusk. )

03; Just Because [Axel/Roxas]

Axel was just plain weird.

As he did on a regular basis, he just let himself into Roxas’s room and seated himself and did however he pleased.

This time, Roxas had been relaxing on his bed, half dozing when the red head had entered the room. Roxas didn’t care about him anymore; he’d long since given up on making sense of anything Axel did or trying to restrict anything he did. So, really, he shouldn’t have been surprised when Axel seated himself on the floor beside his bed, folded his arms neatly on the top of the bed and placed his chin on his arms, grinning, green eyes staring directly at Roxas’s bright blue eyes. Sleepy, half lidded eyes stared back for a dull minute.

And then Roxas just rolled over and faced away from him, and burrowed his messy blonde head back into the pillow.

“Roxas, that wasn’t nice,” he had chided, snickering. An arm stretched the small expanse of bed for a gloved finger to flip at a few messy blond spikes.

“Well, staring is rude,” Roxas pointed out apathetically, voice muffled against the pillow. He could practically hear the grin in response.

“Come on, Roxy, I have something for you.”

That got his attention. Roxas sat up, sleep suddenly forgotten, “You what?”

And Axel was grinning, that mad, maniacal grin. He shifted so that his chin was resting idly on his knuckles, sly green eyes gleaming with victory and mischief. “Have something for you,” Axel said, repeating his former words happily.

Suspicion was rising in the younger nobody, blue eyes narrowing, “And why would you do that?” He sighed, swinging only boxer clad legs onto the side of the bed, bare feet touching the floor beside Axel.

“Just because,” was accompanied with a grin and a shrug.

Somehow, Roxas wasn’t convinced or impressed. “...right.” A hand went through sleep mused blond strands, straightening his hair idly as his eyes slipped over Axel. “So where is this present?”

“Aren’t we patient?” Axel teased, grin growing if it was even possible, as he tilted back from the bed. “Close your eyes and hold out a hand.”

A blond eyebrow rose and blue eyes narrowed and for a moment it looked like he was about to tell Axel to shut up and get out – but in the end, Roxas just gave a sigh and obeyed. When it concerned him, Axel always got his way in the end.

Even when his eyes were in total darkness, denied sight, he could practically see Axel moving about, it helped that Axel was none too quiet about it. And Axel was sitting beside him, staring at him. Roxas was suddenly feeling remarkably uncomfortable with this – Axel was taking too long, prolonging this for his benefits or laughs. Now he was taking off his gloves, he could hear the familiar sound. Still, Roxas hated it when Axel laughed as his expense and he was just about to end this little game, when a definite weight fell into his hands.

It was no item, no present.

Axel was toying with him. Eyes screwed shut tighter at the blush erupting on his face and he mentally scolded himself for letting Axel always have his way, while Axel’s tanned fingers nudged their way between his, intertwining their hands.

Abruptly, lips were pressed against his own, softly, drawing a startled jump from Roxas, scaring blue eyes wide open. “Axel?” was urgently whispered, lips unintentionally brushing in the close proximity, making Roxas’s blush all the more fierce.

A warm hand cupped at the far side of Roxas’s face, drawing the blonde closer, amused by the way Roxas only put up a mild struggle. Axel was smirking, still, but it was softer. For all of the apathetic, uncaring words, Roxas was suddenly melting in embarrassment and some emotion he couldn’t quite place; didn’t have a heart, y’know? Neither of them did. Whatever. Axel would enjoy this.



04; Feel the rain on your skin… [Riku/Sora]

The streets were dark, dreary, cold, and most unpleasantly wet. A wind had whipping at them, unmerciful and harsh, biting at every unclothed piece of skin. Everything seemed to be mocking him and torturing him tonight. At that exact moment, his hand was ensnared affectionately, tanned fingers curled around his own pallid fingers, the sudden warmth melting away the chill that had set over him. Abruptly, Sora spun around on his heel and turned to him, a bright smile bent on his lips.

Everything had gone wrong from the start.

First, Riku’s car refused to start, which ended in him walking to Sora’s house and them walking to the theater. Then, the movie they had decided on required IDs and apparently Riku had misplaced his own driver’s license and so they were forced to go watch the only other movie playing. A Disney movie. Of course, the room was packed with little children... that denied Riku the privacy of the back row. And now. Now. It was raining. No, not raining. Pouring. Any second a tornado was going to spin into existence right about Riku’s head.

Riku was fairly certain the hand in his own was trembling – no doubt from the cold rain – and Sora’s hair hung in limp spikes and still he was still grinning like everything was sunshine and roses.

Sometimes, his boyfriend amazed him.

A small smile curled onto his own lips, unable to resist the absolutely irresistible contagion of Sora’s smiles. And when Sora saw this, his smile only grew brighter in the darkness.

“We should really do this again, Riku,” he said, perfectly serious.

For a second, he was surprised, aquamarine eyes widening just a little at the sincere tone. He shouldn’t have been surprised; Sora was always happy, as long as he was there. He was a total sap like that. Riku’s small smile took an upward turn into an airy smirk.

Abruptly, Riku tugged on Sora’s hand, reeling his boyfriend into his arms. Raindrops were dripping out of his unruly brown mob and sliding down his face, a few drops even running down his nose before rolling off. His arms wrapped so easily around his waist and Sora was warm in his arms, despite the cold rain and soggy, wet clothing. He returned the embrace, placing his arms on Riku’s shoulders, but with a playful, upbeat attitude.

“Of course, you dork,” Riku whispered, nose-to-nose with his cheery boyfriend. “This is only our first date.”

Sora only grinned happily and waited expectantly, until Riku sealed the deal with a kiss.

001; First Meetings and Everything Else

The room was flooded with the sound of silence. It was the sound of nothingness falling at their ears and a lack of everything they could have said.

Iridescent blue eyes stared up at him, waiting, watching, anticipating. His lips formed a firm frown and his body was rigid with tension. The freshly acquired black cloak only making him look younger, more vulnerable, more... misplaced.

A red eyebrow quirked.

“You got a name, kid?”

The resounding fall of silence was his answer. Blue eyes were still staring and his lips had parted and the frown had slipped away... still to be accompanied by a blank stare and utter silence.

It had been assumed that the kid had a name, everyone else did. But it’d also been assumed there would be some form of this thing – communication – occurring, also.

Brows furrowed, he tried again.

“What, do I get to name you or something?”

And he succeeded.

The kid smiled; this small twitch of his lips upwards, a short-lived sign of amusement.

“Roxas,” was finally supplied quietly, eyes sparkling with that newfound fascination.

Somehow, he felt accomplished.

“And here I was already thinking of cute names...” A sad sigh and shrug of his shoulders, a sideways grin. “The name’s Axel.”



002; Emotions in the Middle

For someone lacking a heart, the emotion of anger came so easy.

Livid green eyes slid shut and his arms raised to his sides, chakram materializing into his waiting hands. Eyes open, he lifted his head again, with the same cynical, defiant smirk twisted on his lips as flames came to life around him, quickly jeopardizing the safety of everything standing against him.

The blonde before him had a sudden curl to his lips that looked much like disgust. Eyebrows raised in his ways of arrogance, he ground out the words, “Axel, I think you’re forgetting your place.”

Fingers slid back and forth; keeping a half circle swing in his chakram, the warped smirk on his lips growing, malice shining in his eyes and on the gleam of his white teeth. “

Axel winced, desperation and regret quickly reaching him, ensnaring him. “Roxas,” he whispered, a frantic edge touching his voice when the blonde got up seething. “It wasn’t something I wanted you to hear from me,” Axel explained, pathetically, following the other Nobody, a miserable frown sketched on his lips.

Roxas didn’t care; he was storming out the building, keyblades materializing in his hands as he went. “It would have been better coming from you, if you’d cared enough to tell me,” he shouted crossly over his shoulder, blue eyes narrowed in an icy glare that Axel could make out even in the dark night around them. It stopped Axel in his track, steps behind him, made his head droop and his shoulders slump.

“What was I supposed to say?” He asked quietly, desperation finally catching in his words and his voice rose. “‘Hey, babe, you’re not supposed to exist and you don’t have a heart’? Just that? Was that what I was I supposed to say, Roxas?”

“Yes!” Roxas screamed, whirling around and swinging his keyblades in a mindless rage that caused Axel to jump a few more cautious steps away, misery filled green eyes watching. Anger is boiling in Roxas, denying everything he was just told. He was feeling emotions in the midst of a being an emotionless void.



003; The End of Existence as We Know It


Blue eyes stare distantly at the man before him, fascinated by the smirk on his lips and trying to figure out just what he’s trying to say and figuring he should be able to decipher his best friend’s rambling by now, but he can’t.

This friend slides an arm around his shoulders, standing closer than Roxas would allow any other, and still speaking fervently in what might as well be another language. As always his friend isn’t the least deterred by the blank expression on his face.

He’s chuckling now, smirk growing crookedly as his green eyes latch onto his blue ones; the blank expression, the confusion, is always found hilarious.

Roxas doesn’t know where he got the impression... but he thinks he makes Axel feel.

He isn’t exactly wrong.

Axel isn’t so sure what he’s saying anymore, but he’s inching closer to his friend.

It was a joke, at first, but he can’t exactly recall it and he doesn’t think it matters; Roxas was lost in the first line. The befuddled expression is familiar to Axel, but he’s long since given up on getting Roxas to understand.

Axel used to think Roxas already understood everything that mattered.

He was miserably mistaken.

As desperate and miserable as he is, Axel continues playing along, playing this game. He doesn’t have a heart, he’ll say, and he doesn’t have emotions either. He’s come to the conclusion that he has to be a masochist.

Axel loves Roxas and distantly, he wonders if Roxas will ever know.

001; The School Broom Closet


Black was everything; all their bright eyes could see in pitch-dark of their little windowless niche in the world. Their off-beat breathing was filling the silence and the aroma of cleaning chemicals wasn’t everything they smelled. The smaller of the two made a quiet sound when his back collided with the stained wall of his school’s lesser-used broom closet. For all their playful chasing, teasing kisses, and breathless laughing in the halls, Sora’s ability to laugh was suddenly MIA. One of his battle hardened hands clutched harder at the older teen, fingers clinging to the pristine white material of the school’s required dress shirt.

Younger, Sora had been afraid of the dark. Most especially, this kind; the kind where there was no light to be found and none to be had. Years later and still he was looking up at Riku with those bright blue eyes and pouting lips, clearly about to tell him to find the light switch.

Moist lips met his kiss-swollen lips and captured them in a brief kiss before Riku’s teeth became reacquainted with Sora’s pouty lips in a gentle tug that turned into a mild nip. Riku’s hands busily tugged Sora’s shirt from his pants, until he could slip his cool hands under and up the shirt, mischievous fingers brushing across soon-to-be-pert nipples. Whatever gasps his cold hands may have produced, Riku swallowed them, sliding his tongue between Sora’s lips, plundering until his tongue came to battle against Riku’s, the two pink tongues openly sliding against each other and playing like old friends.

When the kiss came to a halt, and Sora, breathlessly, opened his blue eyes that he never knew he closed, too nimble fingers had slipped from under his shirt and were busily unbuttoning it from bottom to top. Sweet, soft kisses were being trailed down his neck, melting Sora’s heart as he went. Strong hands slid the shirt off his shoulders, carelessly letting it drop to the floor, before his nimble fingers started loosening the tie, slowly.

Wet lips closed around a small expanse of skin, and sucked lightly, before biting down, intentions clear. If Sora hadn’t been busy trying to stay quiet and battling down the beginnings of a moan, he would have rolled his eyes. Riku never minded very openly placed ‘love bites’; sometimes, Sora thought he had serious possessive issues.
Sora released a small, contented sigh when a final, soothing lick was given to the angry red mark. He could practically feel Riku’s smirk against his neck, but it was fleeting, when the silver haired teen moved back, slipping the tie off of Sora, but not letting it fall carelessly to floor like he should have. Blue eyes blinked, eyebrows furrowing, and confused pout firmly in place.

“Riku, – ” Sora started, only to be silenced with a devilish kiss that made Riku’s smirk all the more obvious and made Sora all the more interested.

When Riku’s calloused hands found his one of his own, Sora barely noticed, or even when Riku had the other in his grasp to, it wasn’t until Sora’s hands were touching, and the tie of all these suspicions was being wrapped around his wrists and then tied that realization dawned on Sora.

The distraction-of-a-kiss ended with Riku chuckling, smug smirk still on his lips. Supposedly innocent blue eyes widened, a blush staining his cheeks instantly, while Riku forced his bound hands above his head against the wall, sliding his body flush against Sora’s, eyes gleaming darkly as his boyfriend gasped and writhed against him, half hearted protests being mumbled. Still with his damnable smirk, Riku kissed his way to the other boy’s ear, nibbling on the succulent flesh, before whispering huskily into Sora’s ear, “Did you really think I’d let you go without proper punishment? I, Sora, am too cool to be tied up by my boyfriend in public.”



002; Simple and Clean


It always happened like this.

Everything would start off looking so perfect; sunny, blue skies and serene water as far as they eye would see. And he was there, just a small ways out, knee deep in endlessly blue water. One step forward and the water at the beach retreated backwards, shying from Sora’s single step and a catastrophic wave was forming behind his best friend. And he would just turn his head to the side, apparently recognizing Sora’s present , silver hair whipping in the growing wind as he would turn to face Sora. Gorgeous aquamarine eyes would burn into his bright blue eyes and Sora would be frozen in place, staring, gaping.

And then he would raise his hand, outstretched towards Sora, and his lips would curl into a damnable smirk.

Sora would instantly break into a sprint, desperately reaching towards his best friend with every fiber of his being. The tidal wave would fall over their heads and Sora would be swept into the endless blue. Again, always, Riku would appear just out of his reach, hand expectantly outstretched.

Sora never did manage to catch him in those dreams.

Eyelashes fluttered sleepily against his cheek, a deep contented sigh falling past his lips. Distantly, Sora noted that the sun was being unbearably bright today, the red light dimly managing to flitter through even his eyelids. A little stiffly, he rolled his shoulders, not surprised when his bedding was moving with just that simple action – sand. As warm as his body was from falling asleep under the sun, it was his hand that was the warmest. Actually, that entire side was pretty warm, like someone was... wait.

That got his attention.

Thick eyelashes fluttered only for a second when assaulted with the direct light of a brightly burning sunset and blue eyes opened wide, flickering to the right. A shock of silver hair was the first sight his sleep blurred eyes caught and it was all he needed. He and Riku were holding hands, fingers entwined and interlaced. It would have been an awkward situation, if this were anyone but Riku. Fortunately, this was Riku, his best friend, closer to him than anyone else.

Sora propped himself up on his other elbow, blinking slowly to his other side. Now that his brain was in gear, he was positive Kairi had been there before...

“Sora?” It was Riku, his too-cool voice dowsed with sleep. Sora’s face instantly lit up with a grin as he turned back to him, just in time to catch Riku muffle a yawn behind his free hand. “You dope, you fell asleep on us.”

Even with the friendly insult, Sora didn’t stop grinning, just held on tighter to Riku’s hand. A silver eyebrow lifted, but Riku didn’t bother trying to make sense of his nonsensical friend, instead choosing to haul his sleep-slowed body to his feet and helping Sora up along the way. “I bet you anything Kairi already left without us,” Riku was mumbling, staring at the blue water in front of them and the setting sun, before slowly dragging his hand out of Sora’s.

“Riku—” A light blush was on his cheeks, even when aquamarine eyes turned on him in obvious curiosity. Sora had caught Riku’s hand in his before they could be fully separated, both hands latching on to the one hand Riku had offered hours ago. They were so close to the water... “Can I –we,... please just... a little while longer, please?”

A soft smile wormed it’s way onto Riku’s lips as he entwined his fingers with Sora’s again, enjoying the tingle of familiarity and warmth against his hand. “Anytime,” Riku whispered.

This time, hand in hand, fingers firmly laced, there was no chance he could lose him.

Title: Downfall
Chapter: Chapter One
Author: sadist_love
Fandom: Advent Children
Pairing: Cloud/Kadaj
Summary: (coming soon -- when I'm not running out of the house )


( “Beginnings..." )

Title: Downfall
Chapter: Prologue
Author: sadist_love
Fandom: Advent Children
Pairing: Cloud/Kadaj
Summary: (coming soon -- when I'm not running out of the house )


( “Downfall." )